Surreal

I can't believe still you are gone.

Wake me up from this slumber;

And perhaps, just perhaps,

I will find 'twas a mere dream.

Yet, I awake every time,

To discover,

Your presence has fled the earth;

And I startle to life,

Only to weep my heart out,

At this strange event.

Real sleep comes, but rare;

I rove the world of words instead,

Searching for ways to write my soul,

And set free,

My bleeding heart.

I know you will tell me not cry;

I know you are happy at Home;

But I cannot dismiss,

Years of memories,

For a demise.

- requiescat in pace -

Are You Sad?

"Are You Sad?" by Our Lady Peace

Your life has been so hard
It's dried up angels, can't keep guard
I'm trying to reach your hand
But I'm on fire
I never meant to fade... away
Stay with me
Oh just stop pretending when they say you're nothing

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be..
x2

I'm drowning inside your head
Help me to answer
Help understand
Why it's been so long since we talked like friends
Oh please, forgive me,
I'm just a man
Whose made mistakes
Oh just stop pretending when they say you're nothing

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be
x2

Oh ho oh....

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be
x2

Oh ho oh....

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
You shouldn't be
x4

Tonight

It drizzled, and rained, at alternate times the whole of yesterday. They say when it rains, it means God is crying and is sad.

I should let you go...

But it breaks my heart to.

You finally found a place to belong;

A place, where you will forever be happy,

And shed tears no more.

I should let you go.

This picture is for you; taken yesterday.

- RIP -

This Is Home

"This is Home" by Switchfoot

I've got my memories

Always inside of me

But I can't go back

Back to how it was

I believe you now

I've come too far

No I can't go back

Back to how it was

Created for a place I've never known

[Chorus]

This is home

Now I'm finally where I belong

Where I belong

Yeah, this is home

I've been searching for a place of my own

Now I've found it

Maybe this is home

This is home

Belief over misery

I've seen the enemy

And I won't go back

Back to how it was

And I got my heart set on what happens next

I got my eyes wide it's not over yet

We are miracles and we're not alone

[Chorus]

And now after all my searching

After all my questions

I'm gonna call it home

I've got a brand new mindset

I can finally see the sunset

I'm gonna call it home

[Chorus]

Now I know

Yeah, this is home

I've come too far

And I won't go back

Yeah, this is home

So She Dances

"So She Dances" by Josh Groban

A waltz when she walks in the room

She pulls back the hair from her face

She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight

Even her shadow has grace

A waltz for the girl out of reach

She lifts her hands up to the sky

She moves with the music

The song is her lover

The melody's making her cry

So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently

A waltz for the chance I should take

But how will I know where to start?

She's spinning between constellations and dreams

Her rhythm is my beating heart

So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently

I can't keep on watching forever

I give up this view just to tell her

When I close my eyes I can see

The spotlights are bright on you and me

We've got the floor

And you're in my arms

How could I ask for more?

So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently

I can't keep on watching forever

And I'm giving up this view just to tell her

(For Grandmama)

Too Far Now

You slipped from our grasps,

In the kiss of a moment.

No farewells, no last looks;

You silently left,

And returned to the place,

You once called, Home.

Why did you not stay a little while longer?

Your heart, so fragile and cracked,

Could not, perhaps,

Withstand the agony you quietly held within.

And yet, my heart grieves,

I did not get to have you a little while longer;

That you are too far away now

For me to have that last look

I usually take, whenever I say, "Goodbye,"

Here on earth.

Perhaps Heaven deemed it fit

That your time had come;

Or perhaps, He merely thought you'd be happier back Home,
With Granddad.

I begrudge not,

The Creator, Who gave me to you,

As your granddaughter;

But I have not accepted the fact,

That you will no longer be around;

That you had to leave, alone;

That you had to bear it out,

And suffer, inside.

I know Heaven and Granddad hath awaited long for you;

I know they welcomed you this morning,

At 06:20.

You lingered long enough for us,

To save enough memories;

I ought to let go,

But it is so hard to;

I never thought I'd see you leave this soon.

Your last words were to tell me,

You had prayed for me.

You are much better off on the Other Side;

Forgive the many tears I have shed,

And will do so.

I will be strong and patient,

As you have shown me so, countless of times.

Wait for me;

And I know you and Granddad will look down on me,

With love.

I love you, Poh Poh.

Rest In Peace.


ad perpetuam memoriam of Madam Ling Nyuk Ying
AD 2011, 4th August
06:20am

Higher Window - Josh Groban

"Higher Window" by Josh Groban

For all the times I tried for this

And every chance at you I missed

I've been known to go my way but I confess

It made me miss you more

I drew my line across the sand

And set my flank in no man's land

But here I am the one man band

With a song that's meant for two

And there is a light

From a higher window

Shining down on you tonight

And the music floats on the breeze

Bringing an easier time

And all of our cards are on the table

Tell me what you want to do

Just don't tell me that it's too late

For me to love you

How perfect we were meant to be

Our warm and silent symmetry

It's times like these when all

All we need is to be reminded

And I have flown a thousand miles

To empty rooms and crowded aisles

And we went from cathedral bells

To show and tell and wish you wells

And I still look at you

And I am blinded

I am blinded

For all the times I tried for this

And every chance at you I missed

I've been known to go my way but I confess

It made me miss you more

I drew my line across the sand

And set my flank in no man's land

But here I am the one man band

With a song that's meant for two

And there is a light

From a higher window

Shining down on us tonight

And the music floats on the breeze

Bringing an easier time

And all of our cards are on the table

Tell me what you want to do

Just don't tell me that it's too late

Don't tell me that it's too late now

Just don't tell me that it's too late

For me to love you

Not Enough

anguish tears my soul apart;

shattered lies the shards to my heart.

always questioning,

always wondering,

which portion of me fits not the list.

blank is the canvas,

and shudders, the artist,

as the empty masterpiece is ripped,

from edge to edge.

no more answers;

no more pages to turn;

remains are the skeleton, once whole.

is there reprieve,

from the wailings of a soul?

will the shutters stay closed,

and I be seen no more?

deserted is the now;

I stretch my hand out,

but the air swirls around it instead,

and once more, I am left grasping,

pain ensuing,

knowing-

it wasn't enough.