In The Throes Of September

It is in times of adversity and pain/angst that you realize and know who your friends truly are. I'm going to write this post, as though there'd be no 'audience' to read it later. A genius is not needed to conclude that life has been a little bumpy of late, neither is there a want to elaborate on the growing hills. Strange how life can turn upside down in a matter of one minute. Funny how we plan and dream, only to have them crumble into pieces, because of something, or someone. Nothing is ever guaranteed.

And yet, life doesn't stop. The cycle continuously flows, with nothing to stop, or hinder its path. Henceforth, if we stumble, and find a blockage in our way, do we give up, because to our finite minds and eyes, we CANNOT see a road out? Or is it a pause, where we recollect our thoughts, seek upwards for wisdom, and discover a route from the temporary problem?

The last few days have been trying, to say the least. Broken would be the understatement of the year. Sarcasm, cynicism, resentment, and blossoming hatred struggle to overpower common sense, forgiveness, love, and patience. I constantly arrive at that weak spot, where a combination of my head and heart says, "Fine. If that's the way, so be it. I'll never come back. Etc." But, when I am in my quietest moments, weeping and exhausted, these words flash: "Just give it up, Mag. Let it go, forget, walk on, and don't look back, if that is the way the other party wants it to be. Give it up; and go on living life. Forgive."

A rocket scientist is never going to have a clue on how to sort a mortal heart out.

I suppose this is as how much I wish to write. The next few months, until the year ends, will be spent, amongst other important parts, deciphering my heart, and charting my life course once more. Fall down, scrape your knee, but make sure you can stand right again, and know how to clean yourself up. Broken, but not in pieces. Weak, and yet, still strong.

Before I close off, there are some people I am thankful for. I don't know, if you'll ever read this post on this online journal, but to those whose names are mentioned, thank you.

- Uncle Fredy

- Jojo

- Mez

- Rosie

- Dan

And last, but not least, to "pink pigs that fly" - If you read this - I will make it.

xx Madge xx