The Three F's

Today, the speaker at church spoke on the frailty of life. It's been awhile that I've actually taken note of what the guy on the pulpit says - Not because I've been playing hooky, but simply because there were some messages that never made it to the 'relevant' list. However, George Ong, an itinerant preacher, touched on three points of life that I reckoned were spot-on.

The Three F's - Summarized [II Timothy 4:6-8]

1] Fragility, v. 6, (I think it's correct- Been frantically ransacking my memory for the first one, but it's not popping up; hence, I settled on the next best synonym.)
It's an understood truth that life is fleeting. Here for the now, gone the next time you turn around. But, if life is fleeting, what are we doing with it?

2] Finality - v. 7
Besides the frailty of one's breath, there is a certain sense of finality to it. No matter how we slow down the process of ageing, or psych ourselves that it's a long way away, death is the final end we all face. If life is sealed with a final note, are we ensuring that our lives are lived out, with an end-view in mind? Are we going to finish this God-given race on a triumphant sound? It is not good enough to start well; but the most important thing to remember is, how we end.

3] Finale - v. 8
The Grand Finale, where after we live lives worthy of Christ, we rejoin our Saviour and Father in His Heavenly Kingdom. Simple, no? But then, how many of us are actually making US count here on Earth?

A few days ago, I was reminded of my own mortality. Rushing down the stairs and out of school, I had only one thing on my mind- "Time is short. [Perfect irony?] Need to get the CD for my dance ensemble from the car." And so, I failed to look out for cars. Just as I ran out onto the road, a black Honda came on my right side, driving at quite a fast speed. You know how they say your life flashes in front of your eyes for the final five seconds? Clichéd statement. The only thing that ran through my mind, as both the car and I skidded to an individual halt was, 'Oh my goodness. I ALMOST got knocked by a car!'

Needless to say, the last couple of weeks, incidences have served to warn and remind me that my life is not my own. Neither is it guaranteed. A couple of near accidents, whilst driving- Logically, they couldn't even have taken place; but they almost did. The most recent was the earthquake tremors - Well, so it's impossible for a building in Kota Kemuning to collapse, seeing the disaster was happening in Indonesia. However, I was all alone at work, on the second floor, with the cleaners just leaving. Initially, I thought it was just me feeling 'off,' as I'd injured my back quite badly earlier, twice. But the vibrations I felt were way too strong for someone in a dizzy state; not to mention, I sat very, very still, kind of held my breath, but still saw my legs moving! The long and short of it is, go read the aftermath in the papers of those folks, who had to evacuate from their apartments, or the pregnant woman, who was trapped for hours. The earthquake didn't happen in Malaysia; nothing collapsed; no tsunami; BUT the signs are there to ...

Tell me and you that time is running out. We have only one life to live. One life to give. What are we doing with this gift? Are we running this race well?

Dum-Di-Dum-Dum

It's a bittersweet feeling;
If it could be a flavour,
I'd call it 'tangy.'
You added varying colours;
You were sugar and salt,
A mixture I could never fathom,
But loved.


Dum-di-dum-dum!
That's what we were;
That's what we were.


And so I was your daylight,
With no saving hours;
Always that shining star,
Though the night be as jet-black;
You were the pulling force,
The one, who brought it all together,
Even if you were north,
And I, south.


Dum-di-dum-dum.
And that's what we were;
That's what we were.


You can't separate,
The blend of spices,
That gives its unique, aromatic flavour;
You can't divide,
The blue from green,
In the colour, turquoise;
You can't distinguish,
The different notes,
From a musical piece being played.
And that makes us,
Us.


Dum-di-dum-dum.
That's what we were,
That is what we will ever be;
I may be east,
You may be west,
But no colliding force,
Will be as strong,
As the one that has our hearts.


And so we will be;
And so we will.

Home

Afar from distant shores,

The lights slowly fade,

And the Visitor slumps,

In a reverie of disappointment.

As the moon delicately

Takes on its soft glow,

He raises his head,

Muses and sighs.

What's in a word?

Home -

Reverently breathed,

A desperation clamped

In the hearts of many.

It's the heartbeat of man;

A pulse that lingers in his breast,

Even when death stands at the door.

What's in this word?

"Home" -

Therein is the strength for the seeker;

Hope for the weary,

And life for the soulless;

Sweet aroma,

From across horizons;

And a simple four-letter word,

Which pulsates in every being,

Regardless.

And so the Visitor lifts his head;

Tugging at him,

Are the melodic strains

Of a faint song,

That reaches him,

Like a breezy fragrance.

In it,

He hears the song,

Of a place he knows well;

'Twas the call of Home.

If I Don't See You Soon

If I don't see you soon,
Just know you are
A constant in the equation.
We may fall apart,
Abide by the great divide,
But you'll always be,
A number in the equation.

If I don't see you soon,
It's okay by me, and us;
Just know a fact rarely changes,
And we're not just another theory,
Waiting to be disproved!

If I don't see you soon,
Just remember,
Yesterday was where I believed;
Today is where I stand;
And tomorrow will see,
Me holding on, still strong;
What about you?

So if I don't see you soon enough,
It's okay;
Mother Nature continues,
Putting on a wondrous display,
Of beauty before me;
I won't crumble,
Shuffle my feet in the sand;
I'll be building real castles,
And living my reality.

Just know;
Just know -
You + Me = Us.

And I'll see you someday.
Somewhere.
Over the rainbow,
Maybe?

And You Named Your Kids Whattt???!

Adidas ad, The Curve, Damansara

- Saw this, whilst at The Curve yesterday. I thought it was quite hilarious, and was telling my sister today, how traumatized those poor Indian kids would be!

In The Throes Of September

It is in times of adversity and pain/angst that you realize and know who your friends truly are. I'm going to write this post, as though there'd be no 'audience' to read it later. A genius is not needed to conclude that life has been a little bumpy of late, neither is there a want to elaborate on the growing hills. Strange how life can turn upside down in a matter of one minute. Funny how we plan and dream, only to have them crumble into pieces, because of something, or someone. Nothing is ever guaranteed.

And yet, life doesn't stop. The cycle continuously flows, with nothing to stop, or hinder its path. Henceforth, if we stumble, and find a blockage in our way, do we give up, because to our finite minds and eyes, we CANNOT see a road out? Or is it a pause, where we recollect our thoughts, seek upwards for wisdom, and discover a route from the temporary problem?

The last few days have been trying, to say the least. Broken would be the understatement of the year. Sarcasm, cynicism, resentment, and blossoming hatred struggle to overpower common sense, forgiveness, love, and patience. I constantly arrive at that weak spot, where a combination of my head and heart says, "Fine. If that's the way, so be it. I'll never come back. Etc." But, when I am in my quietest moments, weeping and exhausted, these words flash: "Just give it up, Mag. Let it go, forget, walk on, and don't look back, if that is the way the other party wants it to be. Give it up; and go on living life. Forgive."

A rocket scientist is never going to have a clue on how to sort a mortal heart out.

I suppose this is as how much I wish to write. The next few months, until the year ends, will be spent, amongst other important parts, deciphering my heart, and charting my life course once more. Fall down, scrape your knee, but make sure you can stand right again, and know how to clean yourself up. Broken, but not in pieces. Weak, and yet, still strong.

Before I close off, there are some people I am thankful for. I don't know, if you'll ever read this post on this online journal, but to those whose names are mentioned, thank you.

- Uncle Fredy

- Jojo

- Mez

- Rosie

- Dan

And last, but not least, to "pink pigs that fly" - If you read this - I will make it.

xx Madge xx

Diversion From The Usual

Cuppa Cappuccino at Pizza Uno

- Thought the heart-shape was a sweet touch.

Eddy's "Manual" Cappuccino

- Probably looks different than your usual cup of cappuccino,

but was pleasurable enough.

- This is one salmon dish you have to try,
if you ever go to Italiannies. I can't recall the particular name,

but it's heaven.

Sampled at Mum's recent birthday dinner.

Seafood Risotto

- Ehm, a dish one should have,

only if you are crazily famished. Also, if you are not fussy

about flavour, then by all means, go for it. Rather bland.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
If in the dark we lose sight of love
Hold my hand and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to crying
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
Cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I, I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I, I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

I, I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I, I will be here
We'll be together
I will be here

"I Will Be Here"
Steven Curtis Chapman

"And So You're Leaving . . .?"

It's a little hard, when friends leave. However, that's probably one of life's favoured cycles - Friends come and go; people go in and out; and loved-ones will somehow also end up making a bright entrance, but exiting as well.

But yes, life goes, despite of the ones, on whom you place considerable esteem or importance, leave. Just keep on holding to those friendships you think are worth more than the things you own in this world, and keep living that life of yours. Make things count. Make life count. Make yourself count. At the end of the day, don't forget for Whom you should be making everything count.

Goodbye Is Not Too Hard To Say

If you had, but one goodbye,

What would it be?

To whom would you bestow your cherished farewell?

~

Smile the sweetest smile ever;

Remember, it's not the end yet;

For life stops not,

At the wave of one's hand,

But sails swiftly on,

Quicker than your eye can behold.

~

Would you fall apart,

Weep tears,

Even when there are none left to spare?

~

Is your heart that fragile,

Where it can't handle,

The brutality that life can bring?

~

Smile the loveliest smile always;

Forget not,

The ones that grace you,

Used to light up someone's world.

~

If you had one last farewell,

How would it be like?

Stained with tears?

Or kissed by the prospect of happy tomorrows?

Jeff's Story

A short story written by my seven-year-old student, which I thought was kind of cute. The starter given by the textbook was supposed to go somewhat like this, "I woke up one morning and the whole world had turned purple. I ... " Fortunately, or unfortunately, this little guy's always had a mind of his own; the following is the result.

Excuse the English errors; he's not changed them for me yet.

~

Jeffrey's Fun Story

Today I woke up then the whole world was white.

everyone fooled me.

Its April Fools! so I said, "April fool!"

when I throwed something its coloured.

then signs were showing "april fools! celebrate silliness! :) :)

excuse me, april fools!

~

(As written in textbook; nothing has been changed, or added.)
- Jeffrey, 7

Unfinished/Untitled - 04. 14. 09

Walk past the milestones;
They show you have come thus far.
Never to forget,
Always to remember,
Those moments of hell,
And days of grace.

Into The Swing . . .

Getting into the swing of online journaling is ... Tough. Having not chronicled in, what seems like ages, picking it up once more is akin to searching for a lost book in an old, creaking, and dusty attic. My thoughts run together; sorting them out, and trying to type as fast as my brain thinks, can be rather challenging! However, here I go, jotting down my Life, and publishing It in 'outer space.'

~

Seems when you believe life has taken some sort of a 'perfect stability,' something, or someone, happens to crash that notion. As a friend recently mentioned, if only we could go back to those days of sweet and innocent, childish days. Alas, nothing of that sort is ever going to happen ... And Life just simply goes, bringing along the crashers, and joys.

~

I wish I could write more, but I have so many things on my mind currently, this is all I can just about put in words. Maybe the following post will consist of more solid stuff, instead of fanciful and philosophical opinions. 'Til the next ...

Wearied

And when you reach a stone wall,

With nothing there to help you get through;

Do you run, stay, or climb over?

~

Ever wondered if the ocean waves,

Just get harder to surf over,

Or it's mere Life that's getting to you?

~

The Happy People pass you by,

Seemingly oblivious to your weary pain;

If you think a little harder,

Maybe, they ignore,

Because they live with the same wounds.

~

Fly, run, escape, or flee,

The same shadow stalks you still;

Why not feel the urge to be,

Something better than yesterday,

Which you were not.

~

Relent to the voices inside of you,

Cave to the hurts you cradle within,

And the world swirls in blackness,

With no chance of even a flickering hope.

~

Why bother,

If your soul hangs by a thin thread,

To all existence here?

Why burn,

If the heart no longer lives,

For the life it was meant to have?

~

Questions are solely that;

Never fully answered,

Or pitifully comprehended,

And poorly explained.

Henceforth, to receive enlightenment,

Live the questions instead.

_______

April 5th, 2009