August 08, 2011

I took these to remember you, on the day I saw you lowered to the ground; the day I laid my rose onto the soil that covered you; the day I bid you farewell, in the little town I first knew you; the day I saw your physical frame for the last time; and for another, to remember you too.

This Song Reminds Me Of You

"MawMaw's Song" by Bart Millard

Seven years old upon my knees
On the third row pew, trying to see
My grandmamma sing In the Sweet By and By
It wasn't the sweetest soundin' thing
But there's somethin' about when grandmamma sang
That moved your feet, stirred something up inside

To see her grin from ear to ear
One thing for sure was very clear
This wasn't just a song
It was her life

(Chorus:)
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore
In the sweet by and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore

Now times have changed to say the least
My grandmamma's voice, a memory
Just like the old song said, she's on that shore
And she's looking down on me
I hope she's proud of what she sees
Cause thanks to her I'm walkin' with the Lord

Oh to hear her once again
Wrap herself around that hymn
Lord, if I could just go back once more

(Chorus)

There's a land that is fairer than day
By faith we can see it afar
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there

Oh I can hear her singing along 



"Rest In Peace - August 04, 2011"

This Song

Today, I remember you once more.

I heard your voice in my head,

Saw the smiles you gave,

And my heart withstood no longer.

It is not the regrets,

For there are none.

It is the spot I glance at,

And every single time I look,

The place lies empty.

You are no longer,

Where I want or wish you to be.

This song reminds me of you.

I cannot listen to it, without thinking of you,

Or pouring my heart out

In drips of tears.

I miss you.

I miss your whimsical smiles.

The little things you tell me about you.

The stories you share.

I miss the "let-me-downs" you reveal.

The heartaches and pains you bear.

The quiet griefs you take on.

Even the anger spats you have.

I miss dearly the mischievous and humourous side of you.

I won't give anything to have you back here;

But I just want you to know I miss you.

I would like to have you here, of course,

And yet, to have you suffer would be selfishness on my part.

Thus, I let you go again.

Don't tell me not to cry,

Because I will.

I will weep and remember,

Until the ache lies dormant.

I see you in the blue skies;

In the songs, you linger.

I hear you in my heart;

Your smiles, in my memories, deeply carved.

Rest in peace, my dear one.

"In the sweet by and by,

We shall meet on that beautiful shore."

Surreal

I can't believe still you are gone.

Wake me up from this slumber;

And perhaps, just perhaps,

I will find 'twas a mere dream.

Yet, I awake every time,

To discover,

Your presence has fled the earth;

And I startle to life,

Only to weep my heart out,

At this strange event.

Real sleep comes, but rare;

I rove the world of words instead,

Searching for ways to write my soul,

And set free,

My bleeding heart.

I know you will tell me not cry;

I know you are happy at Home;

But I cannot dismiss,

Years of memories,

For a demise.

- requiescat in pace -

Are You Sad?

"Are You Sad?" by Our Lady Peace

Your life has been so hard
It's dried up angels, can't keep guard
I'm trying to reach your hand
But I'm on fire
I never meant to fade... away
Stay with me
Oh just stop pretending when they say you're nothing

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be..
x2

I'm drowning inside your head
Help me to answer
Help understand
Why it's been so long since we talked like friends
Oh please, forgive me,
I'm just a man
Whose made mistakes
Oh just stop pretending when they say you're nothing

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be
x2

Oh ho oh....

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be
x2

Oh ho oh....

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
You shouldn't be
x4

Tonight

It drizzled, and rained, at alternate times the whole of yesterday. They say when it rains, it means God is crying and is sad.

I should let you go...

But it breaks my heart to.

You finally found a place to belong;

A place, where you will forever be happy,

And shed tears no more.

I should let you go.

This picture is for you; taken yesterday.

- RIP -

This Is Home

"This is Home" by Switchfoot

I've got my memories

Always inside of me

But I can't go back

Back to how it was

I believe you now

I've come too far

No I can't go back

Back to how it was

Created for a place I've never known

[Chorus]

This is home

Now I'm finally where I belong

Where I belong

Yeah, this is home

I've been searching for a place of my own

Now I've found it

Maybe this is home

This is home

Belief over misery

I've seen the enemy

And I won't go back

Back to how it was

And I got my heart set on what happens next

I got my eyes wide it's not over yet

We are miracles and we're not alone

[Chorus]

And now after all my searching

After all my questions

I'm gonna call it home

I've got a brand new mindset

I can finally see the sunset

I'm gonna call it home

[Chorus]

Now I know

Yeah, this is home

I've come too far

And I won't go back

Yeah, this is home

So She Dances

"So She Dances" by Josh Groban

A waltz when she walks in the room

She pulls back the hair from her face

She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight

Even her shadow has grace

A waltz for the girl out of reach

She lifts her hands up to the sky

She moves with the music

The song is her lover

The melody's making her cry

So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently

A waltz for the chance I should take

But how will I know where to start?

She's spinning between constellations and dreams

Her rhythm is my beating heart

So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently

I can't keep on watching forever

I give up this view just to tell her

When I close my eyes I can see

The spotlights are bright on you and me

We've got the floor

And you're in my arms

How could I ask for more?

So she dances

In and out of the crowd like a glance

This romance is

From afar calling me silently

I can't keep on watching forever

And I'm giving up this view just to tell her

(For Grandmama)

Too Far Now

You slipped from our grasps,

In the kiss of a moment.

No farewells, no last looks;

You silently left,

And returned to the place,

You once called, Home.

Why did you not stay a little while longer?

Your heart, so fragile and cracked,

Could not, perhaps,

Withstand the agony you quietly held within.

And yet, my heart grieves,

I did not get to have you a little while longer;

That you are too far away now

For me to have that last look

I usually take, whenever I say, "Goodbye,"

Here on earth.

Perhaps Heaven deemed it fit

That your time had come;

Or perhaps, He merely thought you'd be happier back Home,
With Granddad.

I begrudge not,

The Creator, Who gave me to you,

As your granddaughter;

But I have not accepted the fact,

That you will no longer be around;

That you had to leave, alone;

That you had to bear it out,

And suffer, inside.

I know Heaven and Granddad hath awaited long for you;

I know they welcomed you this morning,

At 06:20.

You lingered long enough for us,

To save enough memories;

I ought to let go,

But it is so hard to;

I never thought I'd see you leave this soon.

Your last words were to tell me,

You had prayed for me.

You are much better off on the Other Side;

Forgive the many tears I have shed,

And will do so.

I will be strong and patient,

As you have shown me so, countless of times.

Wait for me;

And I know you and Granddad will look down on me,

With love.

I love you, Poh Poh.

Rest In Peace.


ad perpetuam memoriam of Madam Ling Nyuk Ying
AD 2011, 4th August
06:20am

Goodbye Is Not Too Hard To Say

If you had, but one goodbye,

What would it be?

To whom would you bestow your cherished farewell?

~

Smile the sweetest smile ever;

Remember, it's not the end yet;

For life stops not,

At the wave of one's hand,

But sails swiftly on,

Quicker than your eye can behold.

~

Would you fall apart,

Weep tears,

Even when there are none left to spare?

~

Is your heart that fragile,

Where it can't handle,

The brutality that life can bring?

~

Smile the loveliest smile always;

Forget not,

The ones that grace you,

Used to light up someone's world.

~

If you had one last farewell,

How would it be like?

Stained with tears?

Or kissed by the prospect of happy tomorrows?

Unfinished/Untitled - 04. 14. 09

Walk past the milestones;
They show you have come thus far.
Never to forget,
Always to remember,
Those moments of hell,
And days of grace.